nanadine

Maybe it's just that i'm listening to lyfe jennings that makes me a bit depressed.. maybe should listen to something else..

Now i'm off to take a bath, just need to call my dad before, coz it's his 58th bday, and i doubt he understands how to open messages and therefore doesn't know i sent him text telling him to come on skype.. What can i say, technology is hard for some people who are stuck in the past century.. ( love u dad =) )

OMG how could i possibly be this tired.. just wanna go n sleep, might just take a shower, would take too much energy to actually take a bath, and i would probably fall asleep anyways..

And i don't have any free minutes on my phone till the 10th.. how will i survive 12 days without being on the phone every night till i fall asleep.. Fuck this, my phone bill is high enough already :( Don't know how i can waste 700 minutes in 2 weeks, but i guess it isn't that hard, because thats what i do all the time.. Wonder why it's so damn hard to not be on the phone all day long, what did people used to do all day long, i guess talk to the people around them instead of being on the phone all the time.. But it's hard if ur close people are so far away.. Wish some people would live a bit closer and i could see them a bit more often.. The worst thing is that after a while when you never see people, you spend less and less time talking to each other, and after a while you never speak. Friendships die out so easily it's unbelievable.. I know, because it happens all the time. I don't know how many times i've had friends who i thought i'de be friends with forever, and shortly after you hardly speak to them no more. And than there are people who even though you only fight and always are mad at each other, they will stay in your life for real.. Guess the way to see if a friendship is for real is to see the length of time you've been friends. Which doesn't look good for me, coz i don't have a lot of close people who i stay friends with.. This makes me sound like a bitch Lol But people just lose contact, there is no need to force friendships..

OMG here i'm trying to be all deep and all, am just being super tired and hungry.. so i'm off to shower and then bed time :) gonna have an early one tonight..

peace out

Anyways found some pictures from the other day, spend all day with Jay, it was so nice weather.. Probably the last nice day for this year.. :(

Oh my god, u can really tell how pale i am, i dont think i have ever been this pale ever.. but not really been out in the sun this summer... but you can really tell how pale i am compared to jay..

I wish i would tan like him, but i guess not everyone can have that skin tone :(

Sitting and watching Hancock at the moment, guess i should pack, but i don't really know what to pack, and i still have two days, probably will pack the same day as my flight goes, aint very good at preparing these sort of things..

It's weird to know i will never have coffee with him again, or go to our favorite greek restaurant or have ice cream at the italian place in the neighbourhood.. Never go to museums again.. He was always so proud of our german roots and trying to show us that it aint a bad thing to be german.. Never again will we go to café reichards again for our favorite cakes and coffee..

It will be weird to go home to germany and not be able to see him, not be able to go for a walk with grandmas dog to see him, and try to convince him that feeding a heavily overweight dog aint the way to go..

I will miss all his long stories about people i never met, stories that he could describe in such detail like no one else ever could..

I will miss how he used to always joke around with everyone and flirt with all waitresses..

I will miss how even though he had such strickt views and ideas about everything, always made an exception for me. How he always got me coke even though he hated how americanized society was, and boycotted american products.. He always had coke at his for me.. And he used to always go to the kiosk next door to get me liquorice when i came.

Or how he even though being so strickt with other people, gave me a key to his house so i could sleep there after a night out partying so i wouldn't have to walk all the way from the tube to my grandmas..

It is weird, i have never had anyone i ever been close to, or loved die before.. I guess the only thing you can do is put up and pretend like nothing happened until this feeling goes away..

I wish i could be with my family now more than ever before, wish i could be there for my mum, can't even imagine how hard this must be on her..

Wish i could be there for my brother, who found out that Opa died on the same day as his sons first birthday.

Something that should have been such a happy day for the whole family.. But at least now there is no more pain and suffering for you.

Rest in peace Opa, you will be greatly missed by many but especially your family.

Just spoke to my mum, she was meant to come for 2 days mid october, but looks like that won't happen.. Feels a bit stupid to pay that much money just to come see me for two days.. So i told her i could wait a bit longer till i see her..  And the rest of the family i don't even know the next time I will see anyone from my family again the next time.. Not for christmas for sure, gonna stay here and work.. Maybe next year..

Chilling in front of the tv at the moment, should really be writing my covering letter, but don't really know what they are meant to look like.. So gonna pop by university on my way to work and grab an example one, so i can have a look through it and write it tonight.. I really don't wanna make any mistakes in this as it could decide whether i get a job or not.. I hate that it is so difficult to find a job, i mean i've studied, i have a degree, i have loads of experience, but it probably still will be so hard to get a job :(

So instead of working on my covering letter i'm watching veronica mars.. seriously could a tv series be more boring.. very doubtful.. but i guess i'm just to scared to fail in finding a job to actually work on finding one.. :(

Been having some really nice days this week, an old friend has come to town to visit for the couple of days which i'm not working.. It's weird how you sometimes don't see someone in ages, but than when you see each other it's like you never stopped being friends, makes me wish i would work harder on a lot of friendships, and maybe skip some others.. But whatever I guess I make choices of who my friends are along the way..

Here is a pic from last thursday which I just found coz Jojo put it on Facebook :)

Love Jojo's hair, and Nelly looks soooo drunk Lol but still no comment on me, don't know why i am laying down there :p

I just ran panicking threw the house looking for my camera which i thought i had lost last night, but i somehow in my drunken stage put it in the medicine box.. ehrm, yea i don't know why i put it there, but i guess drunken people don't make sense all the time..?

Here are some pics from last night :)

Me and my new house mate Mandie.. We had such a good night last night, really happy all the people i live with seem to be so nice :)

Yes one can def see which one was the most drunk :p

Been busy all day today, went to town to have coffee with a friend, than we went toys'r'us to find a bday present for my lil nephew, who will be one year the 25th of september.. Can't believe he is already one year, doesn't feel like that, but i guess that's coz i've hardly ever seen him.. :( Now just need to find a present for my dad, and I can send it all off to Sweden..

The rest of the day i been helping Jojo moving her stuff, n cooking for my new housemates.. Made Chicken Calcutta.. My favorite disch.. Yummyy.. Wish it would taste as good as when my mummy makes it, well one day it will..!! :)

Baking a Kladdkaka (sticky chocolate cake for all the non-swedes here..) perfect goodnight food :)

Here come some pics from the past couple of days..

me and the girls in ocean village :)

Nelly n Jojo big ass smiling!! :p

me running around like a weirdo on the buggery bridge.. yes we have a bridge called buggery bridge in southampton.. for those who don't know what that means.. this bridge has been named because the rumour has it that guys have been buggered here.. which means they basically been raped, which i know isn't funny, but the amount of times i walked here in short skirts in the middle of the night to pick the girls up, n always thinking i was safe coz i'm a girl, now that funny how naive i used to be when i just moved to soton.. i guess every year a bit of this naivety disappears...  Not the same person anymore than i was when i came here, but probably still would walk these weird places to pick people up so they don't have to walk alone.. yea yea i know it aint safe, whatever..

Can't believe i didn't go out last night.. Everyone came out, n i fell asleep.. guess i needed it, but still feel so bad, coz some people came to celebrate with me, n i never showed up.. Feel like a bitch, but can't do anything about it now.. Will hopefully make it tomorrow when everyone is going again.. If not.. sorry guys :p

haha just got scared by my own computer, was making weird noises when i was typing.. but it was just a song that went on :p

After i have to go to my old place and help Jojo clean everything up, n then we can go out n celebrate that we are done with uni!!!! Forever hopefully.. i'm done with this, there won't be any further studies for my part, thats for sure!!

n Hill n Wyclef.. Love all of them both together n alone..

todays song is an oldy..

Nas & Lauryn Hill -  If i rulled the World

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2vv_lmeP8E

Cee Lo Green - Fuck You!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc

Still in my old room, i look so mad.. I somehow always look either mad or sad.. I get why people get confused over me.. I need to start smiling more.. Guess it would look weird though if i was smiling like a freakshow whilst getting ready to go out.. Oh by the way, yea i use this to avoid studying, i need to get a hobby.. Wanna start horse riding again, been missing it so much lately it's weird..

OMG i really look like i wanna kill someone on this pic.. lol

A minute later Niko elbowed me in the face so my lip started bleeding.. Guess I had an eventful first day at the new place yesterday..

Really need to get back to my work now..

By the way i opened a pack of half coated chocolate cookies, the ones i'm always eating, and the smell is almost stronger than the sweaty smell of the woman next to me.. Only thing that might help more would be room spray.. Might pop in to tescos on my lunch break n get some.. Might offend her though?!

Am sitting in the library at the moment, as usual in one of the study carrels, and as usual i have the luck to be stuck between a woman (first thought it was a man) which i doubt has showered in the past year, because the smell is extreme, and a man who keeps burping.. How do i do this? How do i always manage to be surrounded by weirdos.. I mean i know i a pretty big weirdo myself, and maybe i attract them i don't know.. Just at the moment i wish i was somewhere else.. Have to escape to the bathroom every 10 minutes to breath coz it smells so badly here..

Need to keep writing now though because i have to sort some stuff out in the new house later, need to get new lamp for the bathroom, and some other essentials.. OMG he just Burped again, not even them silent ones, this man is burping so loud i believe they must hear him on the second floor.. I wonder if some people don't learn manners at home.. Lol just remembered my dear beloved Nells who is known for burping pretty much all the time, how lady-like.. Lol love u for making me laugh so many times because of ur manners Nells :) Gonna miss her when she moves back to Sweden, and don't even know how i will survive without Jojo.. Still i got the boyz i guess.. It will be a sad time without them two.. Might have to consider getting some new girlfriends..? or ehrm maybe not, might be enough with the guys.. Can use them as girlfriends, they already used to it, talking girl stuff and all :) LOVE U BOYZ!! :)

Spend the rest of the day unpacking and with Happy-Jo who is here from Germany at the moment, he brought loads of german sweets which he will give me tomorrow :) LOVE U for that Joe!!

Just waiting for Ellies now, just gonna have some tea, and then bed time.. I know its early, but been moving all day and it really takes energy..

peace out..

Anyways, have had an awful day, could be coz i have been packing mostly, but also been to the hairdresser, who absolutely ruined my hair.. for all the swedish people reading this.. I have a "hockey frilla" now.. Not even joking.. Whilst she was cutting my hair, Jojo told me it looked like one, so it's not just me, and when the hair dresser asked if i liked it i was just so scared she would cut more off, i told her i loved it, and ran out.. Only fun thing that happened was that the guy behind the till at the hairdressers told Jojo that she should do something about her curls..haha she got like the nicest hair ever.. But the guy told her he could work miracles with her hair, i think he was trying to hit on her, but he was more offending her hair, which was pretty funny, coz that girl got some attitude, and u don't wanna mess with her :p

Now i'm gonna try to write a lil more on my analysis, coz tomorrow gonna be a waste on moving :( can't believe this.. No year has ever passed so quickly, loved this year, i learned who my true friends are, i learned who will be there in hard times.. (L) u girlz n boyz. All the late night boring ass movie watching with Tam which worked better than any sleeping pill to put me asleep, the sheesha nights with the boyz, the listening to old school music nights.. All the randomness with Jojo and the boyz, all the late night calls and door knocks from hungry people.. Gonna miss it all.. But hopefully even though Jojo n Nelly gonna be gone, i still have the boyz.. N hopefully the new housemates gonna turn out as good as all the ones i have had in the past. Because i think i've been the luckiest person ever with all my previous housemates.. Touch wood..

Sitting on Jojos bed at the moment, listening to old school music n trying to study, but just really down coz i don't want this year to be finished.. Feels so sad.. :(

Now i'm off to write some more, and then time for beddy..

peace out

x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScJezHweiYc

Is todays song, it was on, on the radio in the doctors waiting room.. made me want to listen to the radio more often, i don't know which radio channel it was.. but only good songs came on..